THE SILVER FOX AND THE GOLDEN LAUGH
One of America’s most beloved and trusted news faces Anderson Cooper received his moniker the Silver Fox due to his devilishly handsome looks and his prematurely grey hair. I think the scientific name for this is Steve Martin’s Disease but I digress. The Coop has delivered decades of shocking news while maintaining a stoic demeanor making him one of the most trusted news anchors in the nation. However, there is one critical flaw that is bursting from within.
Back when he was just a young salt n’ pepper haired twenty something, Anderson worked as a behind the scenes electrician on a student run news program called Channel One. This 15-minute news segment interspersed with commercial advertisements was made to air exclusively in high schools. While on a vacation in India, Anderson filmed himself with his personal camcorder in a documentary style video. He played the tape for some co-workers and the producers loved his raw, subtly enigmatic narration style. Shortly after that he was put on the air. The show sent him as a foreign correspondent to battle zones around the world. With bombs flying in the background and hostiles at every corner, Anderson always kept his cool and got the story.
Anderson’s talents grew somewhat of a reputation beyond this student news program and when it was discovered he had Vanderbuilt blood was moved to the newly established news channel MSNBC as one of its founding anchors. The public response was overwhelmingly in his favor. He even had a stint as a daytime talk show host. It seemed like nothing could stop his likeability factor. Except one almost inhuman setback…. His laugh.
Being a serious news anchor means you don’t laugh, or show any display of human emotions. But in 2011, a story broke that was so newsworthy it had to be delivered to the public by a trusted face. French actor and 70’s heartthrob, Gerard Depardieu, expressed his liberties as a celebrity and defecated in the passenger aisle of a commercial airline flight. In reading this news, Anderson realized the pun of the actor’s last name in relation to the slang term for a bowel movement and began to giggle. Anderson flustered between holding it together to read the serious news and just letting out a boisterous laugh.
Amid public confusion as to how awkward and unsettling Anderson’s laugh had been he remained high in the rankings. Co-worker Wolf Blitzer would taunt this fact for years as the public yearned to hear him cachinnate on the air.
All great things eventually come to light. And during an interview with Kellyanne Conway, the current Counselor to President Trump, Anderson had could only be referred to as a “rolling down the aisles” response to her phrase “alternative facts” when discussing the Russian ties to this administration. Thank you Ms. Conway for making the funniest joke a journalist could ever hear; your next gig should be at the Improv.